The Air, The Sun
by ILoveJacobAndMattyAndPeeta
Summary: What if Bella realized she doesnt want to become a vampire? What if she picked Jacob at the end of Eclipse? Jacob x Bella
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:This is my first atempt at writing fanfiction. I dont really like writing but decided i would give this a try. Constructive criticism is welcome:)**

**[This story starts around page 589 of Eclipse.]**

I couldn't stand being in the house a moment longer. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door, practically running to my truck. I climbed into the cab and started the ignition.

_If only I could be struck by lightning and be split in two. Preferably painfully. For the first time, giving up being human felt like a true sacrifice. Like it might be too much to lose._

And maybe it was. Was I really willing to give my whole life up for Edward? I loved Edward, but was it healthy to abandon my family and friends just for him?

I thought about this as I drove to La Push. I pulled into the long driveway and shut off my truck, afraid to go inside.

No, it wasn't. It wasn't healthy at all. For the past two years, I had been more than ready to give up my life to spend eternity with Edward. It was a selfish decision. I never stopped to really consider the effect it would have on the ones I loved. Could I leave my mother and Charlie? What about Jacob?

Jacob, the one who was there for me when I wasn't even there for myself. Jacob, the one who put me back together in the worst time of my life. Jacob, the one who I had hurt time and time again but still continued to love me.

I knew who my decision was going to be.

I got out of the truck and went to the door and let myself in. I went straight to Jacob's room. Not sure whether to knock or not, I hesitated outside of the door with my hand on the doorknob.

Billy came up behind me, "Go in. He woke up about 15 minutes ago."

I sighed and turned the knob.

Jacob was lying on the bed; the whole right half of his body was covered in plaster. It hurt to know I was the cause of this. He looked at me for a long moment then smirked.

"Jake. . . " I started but he cut me off.

"Look, Bella, before you say what you have to say I want to tell you something. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making this decision harder on you. I'm sorry for kissing you without your permission. I should've never have done that. I just didn't know how else to make you realize you loved me, too. I had to do everything I could. But I understand it now, you can't live without him. But I could give you a normal life. You wouldn't have to change for me at all. I love you, and I want to make you happy. . ."

I stood there in shock. Why was he apologizing? This was all my fault, and I wasn't going to let him take the blame for it.

"Jacob, I love you too. Thank you for making me realize that before it was too late." His eyes widened in disbelief but I continued. "Thank you for always being there for me. I have been so selfish. I really hope that you can forgive me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want to be with you. It took me all this time but I finally figured it out. After Edward left, I couldn't let him go. I've loved you this whole time, ever since the motorcycles. At first I thought I loved you as family but the kiss on the mountain today opened my eyes. I saw our whole life Jake, and I want it. I don't want to give up my family and friends, or having children, just to become a vampire."

"Bell-"

I held up my hand, I wasn't done. "But Jake before you make up your mind, I need to tell you something." I took a deep breath, he deserved to know. He had to know everything. "When I brought the motorcycles to your house, it wasn't because I wanted to hang out with you, not a first." I closed my eyes and let the rest rush out. "It was because I found that I would hear Edwards voice if I did anything reckless or stupid. But after hanging out with you, I felt happy, almost like I was my old self again. I couldn't wait to spend time with you. I always kept you at arm's length because I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't know if I could love someone the same way I loved Edward . . ." I trailed off, waiting for his reaction.

His face was blank, emotionless. I almost regretted telling him it, but then his lips tugged up at the corners and he smiled my smile. He motioned for me to come to him. I crossed the room, unsure of where to sit. His big frame looked so fragile. He pulled me next to him on the bed.

"Are you sure?" He asked. His voice doubtful. "Does Edward know?"

"Not yet," I admitted. Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to say to Edward. I was going to break my heart to tell him I didn't want to be with him anymore. But he had forever to find someone to love. I had to believe that there was someone else for him in the world, just like there was for me. "But I'm positive. I love you Jake," I said as I kissed his shoulder.

"I love you too, Bella."

I looked up and he was grinning. It made me happy to know I would never hurt Jacob again. Edward was a different story. Telling him my choice would break him. But I had to make sure he wasn't going to go to Italy after I told him. He wouldn't do that would he? I would make sure he wouldn't. No matter what, I still loved him. Not as much as I loved Jake, but I couldn't let him kill himself because of me.

I pushed those thoughts aside and thought about happier things. Spending my days in La Push with Jacob, not having to worry about Victoria coming to kill me . . . I felt my eyelids start to close and fell into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up disoriented. Where was I? And why was I sweating? I propped myself up on one elbow and looked around the room. I was in Jacob's room. How did I get here? Last night's memories rushed into my mind and smiled at the thought. I looked down at Jacobs face. He looked so much younger while sleeping. He looked like the Jacob I met at the beach in La Push and flirted with to get him to tell me about the vampire legends. Vampire . . . What was I going to do about Edward?

Light was coming through the window, so it had to be past six. I decided I should go talk to Edward. I thought about waking Jacob up but I didn't want to disturb him. He needed rest. I started to lift Jake's heavy arm off of me and he pinned me back to his chest. This wasn't going to be easy. I got it on my third try. I took one last look at his face. Why had it taken me so long to realize I loved him? As quietly as I could, I crossed the small room and kissed him on his cheek. He said my name in his sleep and I smiled.

Nobody was awake in the house so I slipped out the front door, climbed in my truck and looked at the time. 6:30. I should make it back in time before Jake woke up. I turned on the radio. It was the song me and Edward danced to at the prom. This was going to be harder than I expected.

I loved Edward. Nothing could change that. But, I loved Jacob more.

Did Edward really love me? Or was he fascinated with me? If he would've been able to read my mind and I wasn't his singer, would we ever have been together? I don't think we would have been. He probably would have treated me the same way he treated Jessica.

And then there was the fact that Edward was way to overprotective. He used to have Alice babysit me and disable my truck when he went hunting. I wasn't a child. He acted more of a parent than a boyfriend. I needed someone I could feel equal to. With Jacob, I felt like I sort of belonged around him and his family. It was the complete opposite with Edward.

Their house was only a couple minutes away and I still had no idea whether or not I was ready to do this. I didn't want to hurt Edward but I had to and I hoped he understood. He wanted me to have a normal human life, right?

When I pulled up to the house, Edward was outside waiting for me. Did he know I was leaving him? As I got closer I could see his face. It was full of pain. Of course he could, Alice probably told him as soon as I decided.

As soon as I turned the truck off he was opening my door for me. He reached out to hug me and I pulled away before he could.

I felt horrible for doing this.

"Edward," I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could, "I'm so sorry. I've chosen Jacob. I love him. I love you too, and I always will, just not in the same way. Jake was there for me when you left. Like you said, Jacob helping me left its mark on both of us."

He looked down. "I understand," he whispered.

If vampires could cry, he would be right now. I had to stay strong. If Jake and I were to be together, I had to do this, no matter how much it hurt.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you. But this is what you always thought was best for me right?"

He nodded slowly but didn't meet my gaze.

"You have to promise me something Edward. Promise that you won't go to Italy to provoke the Volturi. Not now or when I die. That's the only thing I ask of you. Just please do that for me. And don't get yourself down just because I chose Jacob. Be happy. Please. I don't want to hurt you anymore than this."

He looked at me, his golden eyes full of agony.

"I love you Bella. I'll hate myself for loving you every day for the rest of my existence. But I'll always be waiting in the wings for you, Bella. If you ever decide to come back to me I'll be there for you. "

I had nothing to say to that.

"Can I see your family before I leave?"

"Of course," He said, smiling his crooked smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

He led me into the house. The whole family was in the living room. I hoped this wouldn't be the last time I ever saw them. I still loved all of them and I didn't want to lose them, especially Alice. Shockingly, Rosalie crossed the room and hugged me. She pulled away and went back to sit next to Emmett.

The rest of them hugged me one by one. I would miss them. A lot. Esme was like a second mom to me. Emmett was a big brother. Alice was a best friend. I quickly left the house while i still had my emotions under control. Edward followed me out to the truck. This might be the last time I ever see him.

Before I got in, I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his stone hard chest.

"I'm sorry. I'll always love you though."

"Shh. Don't be sorry, Love. I just want you to be happy."

I got in the truck and drove back to La Push. I made it back just in time to be there when Jacob woke up. I laid in the bed beside him and he hugged me to his chest just as the waterworks started.

"What's wrong?" He asked his voice full of concern.

"I-I . . Broke u-up w-w-with him." I managed to say between sobs.

"Shhh. It's okay."

After about an hour, the crying stopped.

Jacob looked down at me. There was uncertainty in his eyes.

"Bella, are you _positive_ that this is the right decision? I don't want to make you upset. It would kill me to let you go now but if that's what you want . . ."

"No." My voice was hoarse, I cleared my throat. "No. Jacob I want you. . . I just feel awful for hurting him."

"I love you," He whispered.

"I love you more," I said and kissed him.

This kiss was better than the one on the mountain. My hands were on his face, in his hair. I was too afraid to touch his breakable body. His good arm was wrapped around my shoulders, his hand running over my ribcage. This was our first real kiss. It was only love and passion. Only when he tried to lift himself off the bed did we have to pull apart.

He gasped in pain and I immediately detached myself from him.

"I don't think that's possible," he said, smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

**A week later . . .**

I spent every day this week at La Push. Surprisingly, Charlie let me spend the nights too. Jake was already healed but still wasn't allowed to phase yet. I was told by Rosalie that Edward had gone to Alaska to visit the Denali clan.

After Billy left to go watch the game at Charlie's, Jake and I decided to watch a movie. It was my turn to pick, so I chose one at random and stuck it in the DVD player.

"You want popcorn?" I asked Jake, who was lounging across the whole couch. Of course he wasn't wearing a shirt. Without thinking my eyes trailed along his body. I looked back up at his face and blushed.

"Sure, thanks," he said, smiling his trademark smile.

I went to the kitchen and popped the bag into the microwave, watching it turn around again and again.

"Boo!" Jake roared in my ear, causing me to jump back into his arms.

"Jake! You scared me!" I cried and playfully smacked him in his chest.

He chuckled and effortlessly lifted me into his arms, bringing me into the living room and laying me on the couch. He stretched out over me and propped himself on his elbows so I could barely feel his weight.

"I love you," he breathed before placing his lips on mine.

I lost it the second he began kissing me. His body relaxed onto mine and I slid my arms around him and pulled him to me, desperately wanting be closer to him. I repositioned myself as his leg slipped between mine. My hands wandered to his broad chest, then slowly moved down his stomach. His hips pressed into mine. My breathing hitched.

I needed to think of a way to slow this down.

I was about to stop him but he rolled over so we were both on our sides. I felt his hands trail down my shoulder and over my ribcage, his fingers traced over my hip and down my thigh all the way to my calve. He stopped there and jerked my leg over his body and I gasped as his hand cupped my bottom. But before I could say anything he put them on my waist. I rolled so that I was hovering over him this time and secured his face to mine. He sat himself up in a sitting position so I was straddling his waist and I felt his hands move from waist to under my shirt. I wasn't ready for this.

"Jake," I whispered.

He looked up at me with heavy eyelids, understanding that we were going too far. He pulled me back down on top of him so that my head was lying on his chest.

"Sorry," he said but I could hear the smile in his voice.

He had nothing to apologize for. I was just as guilty.

We sat there for a few minutes without saying anything and let our breathing slow.

I knew I wasn't ready to have sex with Jake, not yet. Yeah, I was attracted to him, but I believed you had to be with someone for a while before you did that sort of thing. Jacob and I had only been together for a week. And, even if I was ready, I didn't want my first time to be on his dad's sofa.

I sighed and grabbed the remote to press play. We were only a couple minutes into the movie when he spoke.

"Hey Bells?"

"Huh?"

"I was wondering . . . I mean . . . It's really none of my business but . . ."

I was confused. Why couldn't he just say it?

"Just spit it out Jake" I laughed and looked up at his face. He looked nervous.

"Ok . . . Did you and _him_ ever . . . ya know . . ."

What was he talking about? And then it hit me.

"No . . . with Edward it was . . . complicated." Was Jake a virgin? Did it matter whether he was or not? "Have you ever . . .?"

"No." He chuckled.

At least I wouldn't be the only one who didn't know what they were doing once that time came.

We watched the rest of the movie in comfortable silence. Once it was done I decided it was time to head home. Charlie would be off soon and I promised him I would be home tonight. Jake and I walked to the truck hand in hand.

"Sooo, will I see you tomorrow?" He asked, looking hopeful.

I smiled. "I need to run a few errands tomorrow morning . . . but you can come if you want." I wanted to spend as much time with him as I possibly could.

"Ok," He grinned. "What time should I come over?"

I wish he could spend the night. Edward had done it before, why couldn't Jake? "You could stay the night . . . if you want to. That way I don't have to pick you up in the morning." I wouldn't have minded driving up to get him; I just really wanted to be with him.

"Sure," he said, smiling and opening my door for me. "But wait, what about Charlie?"

It's not like we would be doing anything wrong. "We'll be sneaky," I said and climbed into the truck.


	4. AN

I dont really know what im going to do wth this story . . . if you have any ideas just put them in the reviews . . . Should i involve the Volturi? Should Bella get pregnant? Should Edward come and try to win Bella back?

I have no idea! Haha what do you think?

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Thank you for all the input. I think i know what i want to write about. I guess ill just take it as it goes. Thanks again:]


	5. Chapter 4

**Jacobs POV**

Bella and I had the house to ourselves. I sat on the couch and watched her pick out a movie. She turned towards me.

"You want popcorn?" She asked, her eyes dropping to my chest, down to my stomach, then back at my face. She blushed as she realized I caught her.

I smiled "Sure, thanks". She headed towards the kitchen and started the microwave. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to scare her. I snuck into the kitchen and walked up behind her, putting my lips to her ear. "Boo!"

She shrieked and jumped into my arms. She smacked my chest and I laughed. She got scared so easily. I tightened my arms around her and lifted her up and over my shoulder. I laid her on the couch and lay on top her, being careful not to crush her small body. God she was beautiful. And she was mine. "I love you," I told her before kissing her.

Her arms pull me tighter to her and I let my body settle onto hers, sliding my legs between hers. Her hands moved from my back to my chest, down to my stomach . . . and my hips rolled against hers on their own. She froze. Oops. I turned us over until we were on our sides so that wouldn't happen again. I couldn't stop my hands as they glided down her body, gripped at her leg and threw it over me. My hands went down and around her ass and she gasped. Dammit, why couldn't I get this right? I quickly put them on her waist, hoping it would be ok. But, she took me by surprise she straddling my waist and weaving her fingers through my hair. She kissed me roughly and I sat up, never breaking our kiss. My fingers crept under her shirt. Her skin was so unbelievably soft . . .

"Jake," she breathed. Her voice was shaky.

I looked in her eyes. She didn't want to do this, and I crossed a line. I felt a little ashamed. She finally wants me and I have to take things too far. I pulled down with me so that she was lying on my chest.

I couldn't help but feel happy at the thought that she wanted me. "Sorry."

She didn't say anything. We sat there in silence while I relived the past few minutes. The feel of her body moving under my hands, her soft fingers trailing down my stomach . . . She brought me back to reality when she sighed and pressed play on the movie.

The movie she picked out was Rambo. I didn't think she'd be into a movie like this. I thought about the movie she brought me to a year ago when she was still stuck on that leech. I wondered if she ever did it with that bloodsucker. The thought made me sick.

"Hey Bells?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"I was wondering . . . I mean . . . It's really none of my business but . . ." I instantly regretted saying something. Would she be embarrassed?

"Just spit it out Jake," She laughed and pulled herself up on her elbow to look at me.

"Ok . . . Did you and _him_ ever . . . ya know . . ."

She seemed confused at first but then realized what I was trying to ask her and looked down. Yep, I embarrassed her.

"No . . . with Edward it was . . . complicated."

I was relieved.

"Have you ever . . . "She trailed off suggestively.

"No." I knew it was kind of girly, but I was glad I never had. It would make it more special with Bella. The thought made me laugh.

Once the movie was over, Bella told Charlie she would go home. He had let her spend the night every day this week, but he probably would have changed his mind if he knew Bella and I slept on the same bed. I took her hand and walked with her to her truck. I hoped she wasn't getting sick of being around me all the time.

"Sooo, will I see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"I need to run a few errands tomorrow morning . . . but you can come if you want"

I grinned. "Ok, what time should I come over?" I couldn't phase yet so I would have to get a ride.

"You could stay the night . . . if you want to. That way I don't have to pick you up in the morning."

I was about to tell her that I could get a ride, but I really wanted to spend the night at her house.

"Sure." I opened up her door. If Charlie caught us, he would probably shoot me. " But wait, what about Charlie?"

"We'll be sneaky," she said. With a sexy, mischievous grin on her face.


End file.
